First, ladies and gentlemen, let me start by saying that drugs are bad, and you should never do drugs. You should live a clean and sober Christian lifestyle.

And this includes alcohol too. Just because alcohol is legal and socially acceptable doesn’t mean it isn’t a drug. Coors Light is a drug, folks.

If you are currently taking drugs, you should stop. If you need help, seek out a recovery program. Or just quit. It’s not that hard. Just say “I quit you drugs” and then do so.

But just because you don’t do drugs doesn’t mean you have to remain an ignoramus about drugs. And one place where there is a lot of drug unfamiliarity is with DRUG BALLS.

Drug balls are experimental concoctions of two or more drugs that you take simultaneously. Balls can produce conflicting effects that can be pleasurable or hellish. But no matter which, very interesting and fun to do.

Oh, and for the record, I take lots of drugs. All the stuff I said about clean and sober Biblically based living is for everyone else minus myself. I’ve found drugs improve my life in every way imaginable. I love them. A life without being high on drugs is not a life I shall ever wish to live.

So, let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this article, shall we?

Speedball – Most everyone has heard of a speedball. This is when you mix heroin and cocaine into a syringe and shoot it into a vein, typically an arm vein. Cocaine can make you feel anxious, and the heroin dulls that, so you still get a basic cocaine high but without the anxiousness. I personally like feeling anxious when I inject cocaine, but not always so a speedball can be a nice way to enjoy cocaine without that nervousness.

Goofball – This is just like the speedball, but instead of mixing heroin with cocaine, you mix heroin with methamphetamine. The meth high lasts longer than a cocaine high so prepare to ride this dragon all day long.

A Caucasian man preparing a goofball

Paintball – This is simply huffing paint while simultaneously taking a hit of crack. It’s kind of hard to do so you’ll need to practice. But, basically, while you’re huffing paint from a paper bag, place the corner of the crack pipe in your mouth and take a solid hit off that. You’ll need a friend to light your crack pipe so plan to have a willing buddy available before you attempt a paintball.

Or, alternatively, and this is less good, you can huff paint from a paper bag and then QUICKLY take a hit of crack. I say quickly, cuz the whole idea of doing drug balls is to do them simultaneously.

Two men photographed after doing paintballs

Glueball – This is sniffing rubber cement glue while also taking a hit of crack. Just put your nose over an open bottle of rubber cement and sniff it a bunch while also taking a crack hit.
It produces sort of a nauseating euphoria. A lot of people don’t like to feel like they’re coming down with the flu but imagine getting the flu but also getting a crack high. It’s like you’re feeling sick, but you are also simultaneously getting something that makes you feel better. That’s a nice feeling.

Dirtball – A dirtball involves drinking multiple Coors Lights while running a loop on a dirt trail of approximately five miles or more. Now, you might say, well, Pink Face, running is not a DRUG. But I will counter that all drugs release feel good neurotransmitters made deep in our brains and running releases a bunch of different ones and therefore running is a drug. Sure, you can draw a line of demarcation and say it’s a natural drug, but running is still a drug.

While we’re on the topic of running let us discuss two more drug balls that involve running.

Shitball – Jenkem and a long downhill sprint. Now what the fuck is Jenkem you might ask? Well, Jenkem is a hallucinogenic inhalant made from fermented human feces. It can cause users to see weird things that aren’t there.

You might see frightening monsters and evil zombies and scary ghosts and ghouls and lord knows what else might pop up that will give you a hell of a scare. The natural opiates received from running will help calm the panic you feel when these disturbing apparitions appear. And I’m not saying all these hallucinations will be demonic and scary, but they mostly will be, so the running is going to help sand the edge off.

In addition, if you have a good downhill momentum going you should be able to outrun any of these horrifying hallucinations if they decide to give chase. And, from numerous reports and personal experience, they often do give chase.

Chilly Shitball – Jenkem and a long downhill sprint in the snow.

Downhill sprint in the chilly snow

A bottle of Jenkem

Lightningball – This ball consists of running through an open meadow in a violent lightning storm whilst hoisting a metal rod into the darkened sky while high on magic mushrooms and purposely getting struck by a bolt of lightning. I acknowledge, a proper drug ball means you are supposed to do two or more drugs at the exact same time, but there are exceptions, and the lightning ball is one of those exceptions.

Now, I will also acknowledge that the lightning ball is dangerous because lightning can kill or severely maim you, but it’s also one of the rarest and coolest drug balls you can do because it’s extremely hard to get struck by lightning. So, if you survive, and you likely won’t, you’ll be in a rare class of baller and have huge bragging rights. And who doesn’t LOVE to brag?

Oh, almost forgot. Why magic mushrooms too? Well, those just enhance nature. So, the beautiful meadow you’re jogging through will have its natural beauty heightened by shrooms. The grass will be a little greener and the wildflowers will be a little brighter and lovelier. The lightning will also be more dazzling, and I just love dazzling lightning, don’t you?

Man doing a lightningball

Psychoball – PCP and Abilify

It’s no secret to society that PCP makes people go fully psycho. Not just psycho but PCP often lends people superhuman strength. PCP is personally one of my all-time favorite drugs because when I’m out committing violent crimes against innocent victims a hit of PCP just gives me an extra boost of confidence and strength I need to successfully commit my offenses. Furthermore, the extra strength allows me to easily fight off cops if they decide they want to arrest me. That alone can save me a TON of money in court costs and lost time spent in jail.

So why, you might be asking yourself, ruin such an amazing and powerful high with a boring buzz killing pharmaceutical drug? It’s a good question; and I’m going to answer your question using what’s called an analogy.

Have you heard of EDGING? Edging is when you’re masturbating with your hand or having nonconsensual sex with some sexy gal, and you purposely try not to jizz. So, you might reduce the frequency and/or depth of your strokes to ride that sensation of almost ejaculating but not pushing too deep or fast to where you blow your big hot milky load of sperm and ruin it all.

It’s almost like the sensation of surfing on some crazy ocean wave and making it all the way to the shore without crashing.

That’s what Abilify adds when you take it with PCP. I can’t explain what it does with proper scientific words, but the Abilify and PCP essentially go to war in your brain. The PCP trying to make you go psycho, the Abilify trying to make you not go psycho and, if you have fairly equitable doses, it creates an adrenaline-pumping edge of your seat thrill ride.

Imagine you’re about to go fully psycho and rape and murder a woman or a baby or an innocent kitten or even just do a little public property damage for the hell of it but then RIGHT when you’re about to carry out this violent and heinous act, you magically don’t! That’s a psychoball! And it feels amazing!

A bottle of Abilify

Hairball – This is when you pack a bowl with a sticky nugget of marijuana and pubic hair and smoke it. I collect my public hair from the women I have nonconsensual sex with. Once I’ve had my way with a little hussy, I just snip off a little tuft of her pubes. Now, the pubic hair doesn’t produce a high per say, but you almost get like a power trip or something because you’re further victimizing the woman you did naughty stuff to against her will and that power trip feels nice. The weed just kind of makes you feel it a bit more intensely.

The author holding pubic hair harvested from a sexy woman

Oh, and while I’m at this section of the article, not everything is a ‘ball.’ Let me just give you a quick list of popular drug mixtures you can try.

Grey Death – A potent opioid mix, often containing fentanyl, heroin, and other synthetic opioids
Pink Cloud – MDMA + Heroin
Candy Flip – LSD + MDMA
Hippy Flip – Psilocybin Mushrooms + MDMA
Jedi Flip – LSD + MDMA + Psilocybin Mushroom

Now back to a couple more drug balls and then I’ll end this blog entry.

Mediaball – Snort a fat rail of meth mixed with PCP while watching a 24-hour corporate news media channel all day. Now you might say corporate news media isn’t a drug, but it is. It produces a neurotransmitter-release like anything else does.

Fear: Corporate media loves to scare people. Everything is designed to get you to fear everyone and everything and get you massively paranoid and super-duper angry. The meth and PCP helps fuel the paranoia and violent rage to unbearable extremes.

Man feeling fear from a mediaball

HOWEVER…. You also get this….

Feelings of superiority: You know by watching corporate news media that you are among the best informed. All you must do is watch this cable news channel and you have access to the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. You don’t have to research and think. The truth is just right here on this tv station to easily obtain. You can look down on those around you who rely on independent or citizen journalism outlets as misinformed about the big issues of the day. So even though you’re paranoid and pissed off, which can be a fun way to feel, you also have this nice arrogant buzz of getting to feel superior.

There’s really no better feeling than feeling like you’re better than others.

Man feeling superior to others from a mediaball

Insanityball – Mixing music and media with Coors Light, LSD, cocaine, marijuana, meth, PCP, magic mushrooms, Jenkem, Abilify, Tylenol PM, basically every drug on God’s green earth.

I like to play funny Annie Hardy keyboard pop songs on my Ipad and the ambient music of Thomas Hunter on my Alexa home speaker and then turn on liberal 24-hour cable TV news and flip on AM conservative talk radio plus stream a Netflix action movie on my smaller TV plus play vintage children’s music on vinyl plus listen to recordings of terrified women shrieking on cassette tape and take absolutely every drug I can get my eager little hands on.

This produces total insanity. It’s like you’re locked in a chamber of insanity with no way out.

You can get a small sample of an insanityball by clicking play on both these songs at the same time.

Annie Hardy:

Thomas Hunter:

I will end this article with an important disclaimer: while taking drug balls is FUN, drug balls are also hard on your health. Very dangerous for your heart, can cause strokes, liver and kidney failure, etc. I personally don’t give a single whit about the negative health effects because you only live once so you might as well live it up, but you might care, so I had to mention these potential negative drug ball side effects.

I thank you for reading this article about drug balls and I hope you learned a lot and I’ll see you in the next video or article. Take care.